agosto 2021

Freedom has a great value and a different meaning nowadays.

After one and a half years developing new rules of behavior, I discovered the real meaning of this word – FREEDOM.

To be confined made my life walk in specific directions.  I have to say that it was a very special opportunity to do things I always thought I didn’t have time to do, like: read, write and exercise.  I was used to doing these things but always in a gap of daily “Ito do…” tasks.

As I couldn’t go outside and do what I was used to the way I used to, I discovered how to go inside myself.  I had the chance to discover and experience new feelings and behaviors I wouldn’t imagine I could have. That was the first door to freedom.

In this mood I learned that everything in life is an opportunity to understand myself and the surroundings in another level.

One day a book whispered in my ear. Go beyond. I had a strange feeling: Why not? Just think in another level, just listen, don’t come up with an opinion about everything, be in doubt, accept you don’t know”. Beyond is so broad that one can feel a spark of freedom only by thinking about it.

The book kept on telling me that there were 3 doors, one to go in, one to go out and one to go beyond.

“The way in and the way out are often the same but the way beyond is usually quite different, hard to find and really absolutely worth it.” (from “The Mines of Liht: Book 1 The Way Beyond (English Edition)” by Arif Shah). 

I began to meditate about that.

To go inside and to deal with my Inner Being is an opportunity to deal with situations that bothered me in an unusual way. I’ve started to practice the way in.  From this place (or state of being) I had a chance to be comfortable in my uncomfortable feelings and to think about the possibility of behavior in a new way. I was going to a new way out by being in touch with your Inner Being – a state  away from conditioned behaviors and thoughts –  you have the chance to go beyond .  

Go Beyond! Was what I listened. Give yourself an opportunity.  Why not develop a new emotional menu for your acting and of course your feelings?  Yes, you can do it. Another door to freedom was opened.

I kept on fishing freedom.

But you can say: What about the others? How to get free from an unpleasant conversation or situation how to get free from it without being rude or unpolite.

The point is how to be strategic and lead the situation to a positive place.

First fishhook: accept that you have an Inner Being that is a kind of internal guide.  Not thoughts, not feelings, but a different nature inside ourselves. An Intuitive guide.

Second fishhook: think about being responsible. You have at least 50% chance if you are dealing with one other person to let the situation go in one or another direction- a positive or a negative way. Choose what is more comfortable for you.

Third fishhook: feel what you are perceiving about the situation, but don’t let it be guided by a feeling that puts you and the others down. There are some voices that we listen to, and we learned in our family of origin that if you keep on listening prevent you from growing and building your present and future. There are other voices that lead you in a positive direction. Observe it and discover what you really want.  Learn about that and choose what to believe and how to behave.

Fourth fishhook: change conversation subtly or suddenly. With the others and even with yourself. Be kind about bad thoughts with yourself. Give your brain good food, I mean good thoughts. Persist on that. You must be brave.

Freedom is like the silence, its there but you can’t see it because it’s invisible.

The greatest freedom is to use all your senses in a constructive way. Remember what the neuroscientists say: you can use much more of your Brain.  This is healthy and will lead you to a wiser way of life. Fish some freedom once a week. I’m sure you’ll will enjoy it.

To Lose Without Being Lost

I’ve been dying since I was born but I didn’t pay attention to it until I was 14 years old when death came to my life. Then, I learned to face lots of loss.

To lose has several aspects.

Sometimes loss of joy and happiness, loss of vitality, loss of confidence and so on.  I’ve learned that everything comes and goes and the dance between one and another means there is Life inside the Life.

To discover and feel this movement is to stop going to the binary/digital way of life: I like x I don’t like, this is beautiful x this is ugly, this is right x this is wrong. There are things that are wrong and to judge it we have the rules of law.  But when you are talking about life and feelings in general right or wrong is not worthwhile.

In this process, I’ve discovered a more functional way of thinking in different terms and frames of reference.  What about constructive or destructive?

Sometimes the death of a destructive behavior is something that makes your life more happy, functional, and attractive.  Sometimes the death of a project is very constructive because the stress that you had to manage was unworthy.

Think about the death of a violent relationship.  It’s one of the more challenging to deal with. The person loves the one that is rude and beats him/her. How does one manage a relationship as that ? This is unhealthy and destructive .  It’s a sensitivity work and a tall order. We have to be strategic and wise.

It’s so difficult for a human being to separate emotion from thoughts.  And more difficult to understand that emotion is not feelings – they are not synonyms.  The feelings are the bridge that links the emotion with the thoughts. In fact, deep feelings connect you to Earth.

Emotion is a strong way to show what you feel, but it’s not the real feeling itself.

We have to learn how to be clear about what you feel and what you think. For the one that is suffering violence it’s so difficult to separate both.

We are speaking about new terms of reference to show the person a new way to think about life.

And what does one discover when you use those terms of reference? First of all, you learn that you have a choice in life and you are responsible for your choice. As you learn to use those references, you can feel more joy, comprehension, and you learn that life is a gift and not what you would like to be. The universe gives you lots of opportunities to learn to deal with that.

So some relationships must die in order you can live in peace and harmony. Despite you love someone but if  the relationship is destructive you can choose to feel the love and quit the relationship. It’s a deep learning about how human nature functions.

Another term that helped me to face death was developed by Aziz Djendli in his book The Path to Active Presence. 

I use this reference in my life just because it is much more than a concept. It brings the way in which one can manage to be present, not passive but doing something with and for oneself.

“A simple definition might be that ‘being present’ is a feeling of inner well-being in daily life, coupled with an increasing capacity to be actively useful, and to be truly kind to yourself”.  

As we are talking about loss, what shall I lose to feel inner well-being in daily life?

My absence in my life? Absence is a feeling of passivity. Passivity is the best loss that one have to deal with.  Lose my “not to do,” lose my laziness, and give a chance to change those negative thoughts and attitudes. You can be sad without being absent in your life. Being Actively Present no matter what.

Raise your voice and act to cooperate with a better world for you and for the others. This means to take responsibility to being a good ancestor.